Thank you Mario! But our Princess is in Another Castle.

I've resurfaced from the depths of not-blogging.

I'll come up with a clever excuse: "I hadn't found the most appropriate title/reading music for this post."

Well, thanks to The Mountain Goats and Kaki King, I just can't not-blog anymore.

I think Rob used the right words to describe what point we've reached in our YAV year: "Half Time." I'm just over the five-and-a-half month point in Belfast, somewhere around 130 days until I fly home, with another day beyond that until I see Ginna again. Mom and two of her friends have been along to visit, and Spring is already putting up a valiant effort against the North Atlantic Winter. It's hard to believe that so much time has passed - folks here are starting to say that, too (maybe that's because I've been complaining about the struggle of making flight plans - as far as I know, the date is July 26th!).

Part of the mid-YAV-year struggle has been responding to some tough questions posed by the 'head office' in Louisville. It's a fairly standard set of evaluation questions, really: what were your goals/expectations for the YAV year, how were they met/not met, what have you found helpful, what things would you like to change, all that sort of thing. An ordinary set of questions wouldn't really do the YAV program justice, though - we are a peculiar bunch of people, doing very peculiar things.

Hard Questions

One of the items probably unique to a program like this follows: "In the area of faith development, who are the people and what are the events shaping or affirming your faith?"

As far as I know, that's not the sort of thing you'd find on an everyday job self-evaluation form. To use thoroughly underwhelming language, that's a HARD question, albeit with some very easy answers - the YAV community, the infinitely loving congregation at Kilmakee Presbyterian, my supporters and friends at home, small group Bible study, retreats with the other American volunteers, et cetera. And that's pretty much the answer I gave - the easy one - but I've been trying to reconsider that question over the past couple weeks.

I wasn't only asked what was affirming my faith. The YAVs, retreats, Bible study, all of that is doing a great job affirming, but I was also challenged to find out what is shaping my faith. Shaping - not just reinforcing the faith I possessed in September, but adding to it, building on it, and changing it. That's not to say that I'm trying to leave my roots behind - Lynnea wrote a great post about the importance of roots - but like that tree at the top of the page, and the one I found in Derry/Londonderry last month (not to mention the one on the back of last year's BCM t-shirt), I'm growing in both directions, stretching out my branches, and putting down new roots, all the time.

Haha! I've come up with YET ANOTHER reason to love pictures of trees. Go me!

The Bright Ringing Drone of Eight-Bit Choirs

Kilmakee Presbyterian Church is right in the middle of a campaign to redefine their 'mission statement.' Everyone, from the young to old, is involved - the 'Fellowship Groups' have been diving in to the topic every 2nd and 4th Sunday, and the other weeks, we've been trying to sort out the Youth Fellowship's thoughts on the matter. We've been asking each other even more hard questions: How are we involved in our community? What IS our community? What are the needs of the folks living in the estate? How will they respond to Kilmakee being a church on mission? What the heck does being a church on mission even mean?

The emergent church tackles these questions quite a bit - I won't go in to the current theological responses here, especially since they're questions that constantly require new answers. I am, though reminded of my own struggle to find purpose here in Belfast, and of poor Toad from Super Mario Bros. He's waiting, alone in a dark room that reeks of brimstone and whatever enormous spiny turtles smell like, shouting above an 8-bit fanfare: "Move along to the next castle, this one doesn't have what you seek, I'll be waiting for you there."

The next castle might be out on that rock, I think.

The church is moving along to the next castle, and I am, too. I feel like I've been jumping over gaps, collecting treasures, and just barely reaching my goal, greeted by a crescendo of some deeply spiritual chords, only to be gently escorted away from the castle into the next adventure. Faith is funny like that - and God seems to be funny like that, too - always challenging me to take one more step forward.

Sandcastles in the Sand

With all this talk of castles, I couldn't resist making a 'How I Met Your Mother' reference.

Thankfully, along with these challenging thoughts buzzing around, I've also had plenty to distract me when I need it most. I've started planning some more program nights for the Boys' Brigade at Dunmurry Presbyterian, including last week's focus on Fairtrade, chocolate, and Peru. I particularly enjoyed researching Peru (talking to Ginna), and I think the boys really enjoyed getting to try out some Fairtrade chocolate. The focus on our responsibility to small-farm operations may have been lost on them, but good craic was had by all.

The last weekend of March, I'll be away in Millisle, a seaside resort town, with the Youth Fellowship from Kilmakee Presbyterian, for the annual KYF Weekend Away. Another young adult leader in the church and I will be leading worship for the weekend (something I've been dying to do for ages - I miss you, BCM), and we'll be talking a lot about the lead-up to Holy Week, with Jesus' entry into Jerusalem, Palm Sunday, and all sorts of good Easter-y things.

There's also the Belfast Marathon to look forward to - I'm not running the full 26.2 miles anymore, but instead taking a leg as part of a relay team. My newest epic athletic adventure plan is to cycle around the North Coast of Northern Ireland, then down the border with County Donegal, and into Castlederg to take part in a 'mad' Lough Derg pilgrimage at St. Patrick's Purgatory.

There's always some challenge in the way, there's always some reward for persevering through it, and there's always an end in sight - but rather unlike Mario and Toad's 8-bit adventure, I don't get to stop with the princess at the end (as much as I would like to). My faith will keep growing, and life will keep going. For now, I'm just ready for the next ~130 days I have in Northern Ireland, and I hope to find quite a few more castles along the way.